Monday, September 11, 2006

Beefing up

So before Karla and I left on our holiday, I entered a raffle to support a work colleague's chorus. She and her chorus are raising funds to be in a choral competition in Las Vegas (not a topless choral competition, I was assured).

So, for five bucks in exchange for three tickets, I entered. The prize? A quarter of beef. What's a quarter of beef? Here's a quarter of beef:



Help a friend out, right? Not that a quarter of beef would ever fit inside my apartment sized fridge/freezer. I mean, that would just be a joke, right? Right. But five bucks towards a worthy cause and what are the chances, right?

Well the joke's on me my friends. A lovely woman named Liz left a message this morning while Karla and were still away to let me know that I've won "a huge amount of meat" after being one of the names drawn in the raffle. I have the honor of travelling out to a factory in Petone to claim my prize some time this week.

The question is: what the heck am I going to do with all this beef? There is NO WAY it's going to be able to stay here. Can I rent freezer space? Another thought might be a 'beef party', where we give away free meat after making people enter silly competitions.

Please, any other thoughts? I'm in a fix here, since it is now clear that no good deed goes unpunished.

Help!

6 comments:

Speaka said...

mmmm....lots of meat....

Anonymous said...

WELL HI KARLA AND DAVE IT IS SO GOOD TO BE ABLE TO SEND YOU THESE SMAL MESSAGES [1] KARLA IT WOULD BE SO GOOD IF YOU WERE CHOOSE TO GOB TO VEGAS SO GOOD LUCK [YOU HAPPY GUYS] NOW [2]DAVE SO PLEASED YOUR FIVE DOLLAR INVESTMENT TURNED OUT SO WELL BUT WHAT YOU WERE ASKING WHAT TO DO WITH SUCH A LARGE AMOUNT OF CHOICE MEAT I WOULD SAY PICK THE BEST CUTS FOR YOUR OWN USE AND GIVE A FEW TO YOUR FRIENDS WHAT IS LEFT DONATE IT TO A HALFWAY HOUSE OR A SOUP KITCHEN, YOU ARE SURE HAVING A SPELL OF GOOD LUCK DAVE THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE COUNTRY MY GRAND DAUGHTER BUT BUT DAVE YOUR LUCK MAY NOT BE EVERLASTING BUT I SAW YOU TACKLE ONE OF THE PLAYERS IN THE GAME, WELL JUST KIND FELT THAT I HAVE A SORT OF ASORE ARM WELL YOUR LUCK MAY LAST , LOVE YOU BOTH AMMA AND AFI

Karnage said...

This is what you do, put as much in the freezer as you can. Then cook everything else and have contests to see how much beef you can eat in a certain time period. 30 seconds, 5 minutes, an hour, a day, whatever, until all the cooked meat is gone. I suggest you get some friends in on it too. Then you can take your time with the stuff in the freezer.

Oh, and be sure you're eating nothing but meat, veggies will fill you up and stop you from winning.

Graham

Dave said...

Okay, 'do-gooder' sibling (or should I say 'Self-righteOR'?), if you're so good how come you made our poor mother bake several hundred of your 'girl-guide' cookies for your recent little trip to Burning Man fest, eh?

Of course you and Karla's Mum, Amma and Afi are totally right. I put a call into the Wellington City Mission tonight, and I'm going to sort out getting them the meat. I'll also see about getting some to the Marae as well. Good to spread the good luck around.

Incidentally--I learned today the prize of meat is worth $1200! Crazy, eh?

Unknown said...

Dude, you should be able to buy a small apartment-size freezer for less than $100. Given the cost of beef, this is a good investment. Other options include sharing your new found wealth with your friends. Pick the beef up and have friends meet you at your place to divy the loot. Maybe ask for a nice bottle of wine in exchange.

Dave said...

I love the slogan!

Can I send that comment to the Winnipeg Free Press, candidate Helgason? ;-)